The Grindstone
by Nikkette
Summary: Season 3 AU. From that moment on, she would know Daryl no more. He was with his brother, and she was with the group. He wasn't there anymore. But Axel was. And he was always at her side, trying to make her feel better. Maybe she could move on. CarolxDaryl/Caryl. Full summary inside.
1. Prologue

**A/N: Sooo, I'm finally posting this. I wanted to wait until I had all the chapters written, but I'm more than halfway done so I figured I'd just go ahead and do it.**

**So basically, Daryl leaves with Merle and instead of being gone for a few hours (or however long he was gone) he's gone for a little over a month. Carol doesn't 'understand' as well as everyone expects her to, and in her grief she clings to the nearest form of comfort, which happens to be Axel. Daryl comes back (without Merle) and isn't in the _least_ bit happy about their closeness...you can see where it's going from there.**

**I'm including quotes for this story, as I feel they're a nice touch and can help one get in the mood for a given chapter. I tried to choose thought-provoking ones, or at least ones related to grief/misery/love. Most are from books, but some are from songs and movies.**

**Anyway, I hope you enjoy the story. It's more angsty and heartfelt than most of my other stuff, so I'm hoping I'll do okay.**

**Reading time: 3 mins.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Walking Dead.**

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_"If all else perished, and he remained, I should still continue to be; and if all else remained, and he were annihilated, the universe would turn to a mighty stranger."_

― Emily Brontë, Wuthering Heights

* * *

Chapter one: Prologue~

* * *

He was gone now.

She should have been happy.

Daryl was with his brother, who he'd assumed was dead. Hell, they _all_ had. But now he'd found him, and after an ill-fated rescue attempt at Woodberry, after _months_ and _months_ of being separated, they were together again.

She hadn't been there to see it, but she bet it had been beautiful, their reunion. To have been separated from a family member for so long, to think they were _dead_, and then to be reunited...she could only imagine the whirlwind of emotions he must have been feeling. And so of course, she couldn't rightfully blame him for leaving with his brother. Because family came first. And she of all people knew that better than most.

Besides, she told herself, she couldn't have expected it to last forever.

In this world, one could never tell when their lives would end, or their friendships severed. She should be glad that he was safe with his brother, who was probably the only other person on the _planet_ who could keep him that way. It was only right. He would go on with his life, and so would she.

It wasn't that he didn't care - she knew better than that - but it didn't make it any less difficult to hold onto that fact, to truly _believe_ it, that his leaving wasn't because of her own incompetence, her inability to make him want to stay. And she would cling to that until the day she died.

No, Rick had been right, to let him go. To be with his brother and go galavanting off to the far reaches of the country and meet new people, _better_ people. She wouldn't blame the Sheriff. She _wouldn't._ He didn't deserve it. It wasn't his fault. He couldn't have got him to stay even if he tried. Stubborn Dixons.

And now, as she stared out into the fields surrounding the prison as she held little Judith in her arms, even though she wasn't sure what she was going to do without him now, she did. Even though she didn't know, she did.

She would look after Rick's baby.

She would cook.

She would clean.

She would help out around the prison.

She would continue to do everything that she'd done before, only now, she would do it without _him_. She would move on with her life.

And it was almost funny, because the situation was so simple, and yet _still_ she struggled to come to grips with it.

He was gone, and she was still here.

He was with his brother, and she was with no one.

He wasn't coming back, and she wasn't leaving.

_...No_. _T__hat wasn't right._

She was with _Judith_, and Rick and Carl and Glenn and Maggie and Hershel and Beth, and Daryl was with his _brother_.

She would _stay_ and fight for her makeshift family until her last breath, and Daryl would _go_ and fight for his.

She should have been happy; Daryl was with his brother, where he belonged.

She _should_ have been happy.

She wasn't.

* * *

**A/N: ****I know 'Axel lives' stories are pretty old hat in the Caryl universe, but I still think it's a fun thing to tackle. And I think we **_**all**_** know that for Daryl and Carol to get together in the 3rd season, Axel would've had to have lived. Jealousy is the perfect catalyst for a fast trip to Carylville. Am I right?**

**I'll try and update this every 1-3 days. It's a short story (less than 15 chapters) so I kinda want to pace myself, but if enough people review or whatever I'll post faster.**

**'Til next time!**


	2. Moving On

**A/N: 1/22/2015 **

**wildcow258****: Thank you! I tried my best describing emotions and heartbreak from Carol's pov, so I hope my efforts are sufficient :/ Nice to see your reviews again, and I hope you enjoy the story :)**

**Salovi****: Really? That's surprising. Well I hope you enjoy this one, and thanks! I thought the quote was fitting for the first chapter! :)**

**Ballykissangel****: Thank you! I hope it _stays_ interesting for you and that you like it! :)**

**Reading time: 2 mins.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Walking Dead.**

* * *

_"It was Jacob himself. Jacob was a perpetually happy person, and he carried that happiness with him like an aura, sharing it with whoever was near him. Like an earthbound sun, whenever someone was within his gravitational pull, Jacob warmed them. It was natural, a part of who he was. No wonder I was so eager to see him."_

\- Bella Swan, New Moon~

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Chapter two: Moving On~

* * *

Carol lifted a hand to wipe the sweat from her forehead, squinting in the afternoon sun as she folded clothes and hung others up to dry.

She had wanted to get an early start, but that didn't happen; between Judith and the constant threat of attack and helping Rick and going on supply runs, she never had much time for anything else anymore. Not that she minded. She was always busy, and that helped keep away unwanted thoughts.

Axel had been spending a lot of time around her lately, after finding out she wasn't a lesbian. And if she were being completely honest with herself, she didn't mind the company, either. None of the others seemed to like him much, but he was always making her smile or laugh, or both. And given the recent circumstances she could use that ridiculous, unbridled ray of sunshine he provided whenever he was around.

Ever since Daryl had left, no one else had said a word.

Other than Rick, and that was only to tell her he was gone.

Maybe they were just trying to be nice. Maybe they thought it was best if they never mentioned him or said his name. It was like taboo now, the topic of Daryl Dixon. It was as if by keeping his memory locked in a chest and shoved to the very back of the dusty corners of their minds, they could erase his existence, too. No one else bothered to help her when he left, to try and comfort her, to make it better.

Except him.

Axel.

He always seemed to be able to make her forget, if only for a little while.

And as she stared at him from her place in the courtyard, watched him help Rick and Carl take out the walkers by the fences in all his clumsy glory, she thought that maybe it wouldn't be so bad to let him get just a little bit closer than he was now, to let him past that barrier she had put up for herself after...well.

He always made her forget when she was around him. Forget the hurt. Forget the pain.

Maybe she could let him make her forget forever.

Maybe she could move on.

* * *

**A/N: Things will start to move at a faster pace in the next chapter, I just wanted to have a short little section describing Carol's decision to move on.**

**'Til next time!**


	3. Not Gone

**A/N: 1/23/2015**

**wildcow258****: Yeah me too. He was always cracking me up with his silly attitude and ridiculous mustache XD And I agree, Carol did seem to enjoy the attention (but in an apocalypse, who wouldn't?). I think that if Axel had lived in the show, we definitely would have seen something from Daryl on the situation, either to Carol or Axel himself ;) **

**Prettyprincess45****: Thank you! It took me FOREVER to find the right ones! Hope you enjoy this chapter! :D**

**Stargate533****: Nope, no he won't ;) **

**gibbymom****: Lol thanks! Hope you like this chapter :) **

**Ballykissangel****: Yeah, I wish he would've lived too. I can't really see him being romantic with anyone either, but his first choice would've obviously been Carol ;)**

**Reading time: 4 mins.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Walking Dead.**

* * *

_"If you have ever lost someone very important to you, then you already know how it feels. And if you haven't, you cannot possibly imagine it."_

\- Lemony Snicket, The Bad Beginning~

* * *

Chapter three: Not Gone~

* * *

"I'm _tellin'_ you, that's what happened!"

Carol laughed, the sound going mute with her strained vocal chords and aching ribs, clutching her side as she squeezed her eyes shut.

Axel had been telling her about a ridiculous story he and his brother had allegedly been the center of, having to do with a casino in Vegas and a group of nuns, and as always, it made her laugh. He always had the best of stories, the perfect thing to light up her day. They had been unofficially going steady or a while now, though they hadn't done more than hold hands and tell each other to be safe when they went on a run. And she was fine with that. Perfect, even.

If he had asked for anything more than what they had, she would have said no. Not because she didn't like him enough, but because she just wasn't ready. And Axel understood that, if nothing else. No, he wasn't exactly what one would call 'bright', but he made up for it with his endless stories and positive attitude. The others still didn't quite like him as much as she did, but they tolerated him for her, and that was all she asked.

"I'm sure your story is _completely_ accurate!" Carol managed through her giggles, the sound echoing off the prison walls.

Axel bristled as though offended, though he was smiling beneath his ridiculously curved mustache. "I kid you not, it actually happened! Fifteen nuns in the middle of a casino! Stole all our money from the tables! I bet my brother's life on it!

She attempted to control her fit of laughter, eyebrows knit in the way they usually did when someone was laughing too hard, and turned her head to stare at him through teary eyes.

It had been over a month since he had come into their lives, and despite his incompetence with firearms and utter _uselessness_ with just about everything else, he was still able to help out around the prison with cooking and cleaning and the occasional fence sweep; basically everything she had been doing. That was how their relationship started, being so close to each other all the time. And it was nice, being the one who was sought after, rather than the other way around. But who was she kidding? It always felt nice to be needed.

"Dammit, woman, whaddaya want from me?" He exclaimed playfully, throwing his hands into the air for effect.

He knew she liked it when he was overly dramatic, and it never failed to make her smile.

"Well, the _truth_ would do just fine," Carol shot back, just as playful, staring at him unbelievingly as she recovered from her giggles. "You can't possibly tell me that _nuns_ would steal anything from you, let _alone_ be caught in a casino."

"I'm tellin' you!" Axel insisted. "It happened! Hell, I remember an even crazier time when-"

"Carol!"

They both turned their heads to the source of the voice, seeing a distraught Rick marching purposefully past the empty cells and up to Carol.

She looked at him, confused and a little worried as to what could possibly be so wrong that it needed her attention.

_Was it Judith?_

_Were they under attack?_

_Was someone hurt?_

But as Rick came to stand just a few feet away, his hand resting on his hip next to his pistol, and stare at her with concerned, uncertain eyes, she knew.

Before he even opened his mouth to say it, she knew.

But that didn't mean she wouldn't get confirmation.

Rick looked briefly at Axel, and then back at her, obviously not wanting him to hear but knowing he didn't have much choice.

He gave her a sympathetic, almost apologetic look, but opened his mouth nevertheless to deliver the news she already knew was coming.

"He's back."

* * *

**A/N: Poor Axel, always getting cut off :/ The story he was telling was pretty random, though I had been watching Sister Act when I wrote it XD**

**Daryl shows up in the next chapter! Yaay! :D**

**'Til next time!**


	4. Not Ready

**A/N: 1/24/2015**

**wildcow258****: Thank you! I thought it was the perfect place to end that chapter :D And yes, keeping group morale is important too, so Axel's not _completely_ useless, lol ^^**

**gibbymom****: Haha yep, poor Axel indeed. Thank you!**

**Stargate533****: As you should be! It won't end on a very friendly note!**

**Reading time: 5 mins.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Walking Dead.**

* * *

_"I never truly learned what the words 'I miss you' were until I reached for your hand and you weren't there."_

\- Unknown~

* * *

Chapter four: Not Ready~

* * *

_Back?_

How could he be back?

He was gone, _left_ to be with his brother.

How could he just suddenly burst back into her life after so long of an absence?

It didn't make sense.

_...How could he be back?_

"Where is he?" She asked once they were alone.

Rick bowed his head. "Outside. Been wantin' to see you since he got here."

"And how long has he been here?" She asked, placing a hand on her chest and avoiding his gaze.

"About an hour," he said truthfully, placing his hands on his hips.

She stayed quiet.

"Hm."

Rick shifted on his feet, uncomfortable with her silence.

"...You know, if you want, I could tell him you're not-"

"I want to see him," she said, cutting him off.

He looked at her, surprised and maybe a little disbelieving.

"...You sure?" He asked, brows raised.

She nodded. "Yes."

He tried searching her face for signs of uncertainty, but she turned her head away and cast her eyes down so he couldn't see.

It was stupid, she knew. And childish. But she had never been comfortable with long, hard stares from people, and although she could handle them now, they only reminded her of how Ed used to scrutinize her face. When he bothered to look at her, that was. Still, she saw no need to oblige in letting Rick decide whether or not she was lying. She _wasn't_ lying. And she didn't need her best friend to go into 'Sheriff mode' and decide that for her.

"...Okay," he said after a while. "I'll let him know you're comin'."

He turned on his heel and left, going back the way he'd come down the hall and past the cells, and Carol sighed.

Axel chose that moment to reappear from around the corner.

"Wow," he said, and her head shot up to look at him. "That sounded heavy. Like some kinda...Luke Skywalker, Darth Vader, 'force' stuff or somethin'...Luke Skywalker is a character from-"

She hastily nodded her head, a quiet chuckle rising from her throat. "Yes, I know."

He nodded, stepping closer so that he was standing next to her, and smiled, the ends of his blond mustache curling up with the movement.

She wasn't sure how, but she was still able to smile despite the dire situation Rick had just presented to her. She was going to be face to face with Daryl in a few minutes, the person who had gone and left her without saying goodbye, who she'd wished she'd forgiven, who she'd _thought_ was her friend.

Axel slowly dropped his smile, realizing full well that what she'd been discussing with Rick had been beyond the scope of being fixed by a simple Star Wars joke.

"You know," he said, and she looked curiously at him. "I may not be the smartest man alive, but I know an unhappy lady when I see one."

Carol bowed her head and smiled softly, grateful of his efforts to make her better. He continued.

"I may not know exactly what you're goin' through, but I do know one thing. If you're ever feelin' down about yourself, just-"

"WHERE IS SHE?!"

There was a loud bang, and the doors on the far end of the hall burst open to reveal a fuming Daryl Dixon.

He was walking - well, _stalking_, really - towards she and Axel as Rick and Glenn tried to calm him down. His eyes were downcast, and he viciously wrenched his arm away when Rick tried to slow him down, and the Sheriff briefly stopped in keeping up with the younger man's stride to send her an apologetic look.

"Why the hell won't ya let me _see_ 'er?!" He yelled, clearly pissed.

He came to stand at the edge of the hall, just beyond the cells and just outside the open room she and Axel occupied, and he finally lifted his eyes from the floor to look at her.

She swore that for a moment, the world stopped.

And as he stared at her, it slowly started back up...

"Who's this?" Axel asked politely, and Daryl's eyes landed scrutinizingly on him as the stranger put an arm around Carol's shoulders.

And then it stopped again.

* * *

**A/N: Oooh, Axel's gonna be in trouuuuble. And Carol's gonna have some explaining to do O.O**

**Sorry to cut you off like this, but this is a _short_ story, so I wanted short chapters...plus I wanted to be able to include all my quotes XD They_ will_ get longer starting with the next one though, so be prepared for 7-10 minutes of reading.**

**Well, judging from my posting habits so far, see you tomorrow! :D**


	5. Not The Same

**A/N: 1/25/2015 So I've been noticing that so far I update in the mornings. Generally between 9 and 11 AM, Eastern time. So for anyone wondering when they should be looking for an update, there it is :)**

**wildcow258: Haha good one! Though Daryl's probably more like The Emperor (Palpatine) when he gets mad *total nerd coming out right now* lol ANYWAY, thanks for your review. And as to Carol's emotions...well. You'll just have to read and see ;)**

**fangirl8494****: Haha thanks! I'm always getting reviews saying how good (in a bad way) I am at cliffhangers :D Thank you for the compliment, I find it challenging and fun to write Daryl's character ;)**

**Rainbow Gumboots****: Did you think Axel was an OC until you figured it out? XD Yeah, I've got a soft spot for him, too. He was just so funny and ridiculous. But as they say, the funny guy goes first...wait no, that's a rule in horror movies...eh, same diff. Thanks for the review! :D**

**gibbymom****: Yep! Red flag! Axel's in danger! And no, those sparks you saw were not imagined, lol ;)**

**Salovi****: Thanks!**

**Stargate533****: Good to know the chapter length doesn't bother you. Thanks for your review! :) **

**alagal****: Sorry! I hope this is fast enough! D:**

**Reading time: 7 mins.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Walking Dead.**

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_"Part of every misery is, so to speak, the misery's shadow or reflection: the fact that you don't merely suffer but have to keep on thinking about the fact that you suffer. I not only live each endless day in grief, but live each day thinking about living each day in grief."_

\- C. S. Lewis~

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Chapter five: Not The Same~

* * *

It was so quiet.

Everything was frozen. Nothing was moving, no one was speaking. And then-

"Carol?"

The word echoed throughout the room, and it very nearly passed right through her without recognition that she was being spoken to, that it was _her_ name being addressed.

Carol snapped out of her frigid trance, focusing her eyes more clearly on the face they were transfixed to and the person to whom it belonged.

She cleared her throat. "Hi, Daryl."

She tried to manage a smile, but it was weak at best.

Daryl stepped forward, one foot past the threshold that separated them, as if intending to cross the distance, only to retract it a moment later when he remembered Axel.

Rick and Glenn were standing behind him, both with their hands resting steadily on their weapons in case things got unpredictable. She didn't blame them. After all, Dixons were the most unpredictable people in the world.

Rick chose that moment to step in. "Daryl, come on, we've got some more things we need to-" He reached for Daryl's arm but he shook it off, holding up his hand to quiet him.

The short beat of silence that followed left a low ringing in her ears, and Carol wondered if her heartbeat was in any danger of being detected by any of the ones present.

"...Who's this?" Daryl asked finally, swinging a lazy arm in Axel's direction as he stared distastefully.

Axel was quick to speak up. "Axel, sir. I been here since y'all found the prison."

Daryl looked at him, expressionless. "Is that right?"

"Yes sir," he smiled as he squoze Carol's shoulder, oblivious to the potential danger he was in.

Daryl squinted his eyes at the man, and Carol swiftly stepped out of the arm wrapped around her to try and lessen the tension. It worked.

Rick cleared his throat. "Uh..._so_...Axel? Why don't you come with us? Got some cleanin' to do around the fences."

Axel was quick to oblige. "Yep! Sure thing, Sheriff!"

Rick held back a groan. "You don't...have to call me that."

"Oh, right," he said sheepishly, scratching the back of his head as he left Carol's side. "Sorry, Sheriff."

Rick closed his eyes, trying to keep his patience in front of Carol. "Just...never mind."

Axel crossed the room to join Glenn and Rick, and Carol wondered at how he could pass by Daryl without getting his neck snapped from the tension he'd created with his closeness.

"We'll let you two catch up," Rick said, and the three of them walked back past the cells and left through the door at the end of the hall.

The door shut with an enormous clang, and to Carol it might as well have been the gates of Hell being sealed shut with her in it. This was going to be so awkward. What was she supposed to say? What were they supposed to talk about? She didn't know. She just knew that she never in a million _years_ thought this moment would actually happen.

"_So_..." she began. She never finished her sentence.

"So," Daryl echoed, relaxing his posture and sweeping his foot across the dusty floor. "...How've you been?"

Her eyes lit up. Good, a question she could easily answer. "Well. I've been doing...well. Ha."

"Your hair's longer," he observed.

She smiled shyly and looked down, automatically reaching up to finger her curly locks. "Yeah. Axel said he liked it better that way."

Her heart gave a strong, fearful beat as she realized her mistake, and Daryl's face hardened back to its previous stone-like state. She dropped her hand from her hair.

"_'Axel'?_" He echoed, scoffing at the name. "That bumblin' idiot you were with earlier?"

"Yeah," she confirmed, defenses flaring. "That's exactly who it was."

He looked down at the ground, lips pursed, shoulders tensed.

"...You two an item?" he asked, voice low as he looked back up at her.

Carol crossed her arms and raised her chin; even from far away, she could still see the twinge in his jaw as he clenched it. "Yes. As a matter of fact...we are."

Daryl stared at her, long and hard, and she had to fight with every ounce of pride in her not to break his gaze. It felt like a sack of _bricks_ were being heaped upon her shoulders; the weight was mounting. He was trying to see if she was lying. Just like Rick. A lot of people seemed to think that about her lately.

Daryl stepped forward, opening his mouth to say something-

Just as Beth entered the room with little Judith.

The young blonde froze almost instantly, immediately realizing her mistake, and her right leg was frozen in mid air as she tried to decide whether or not to back away.

"I'm sorry. I- I didn't-"

Carol was quick to alleviate her. "No, no, it's fine. Uh, did you need something?"

The teen stared at Daryl, mouth agape, and then shifted her gaze to her, unsure if what she needed was worth any attention, but answered anyway.

"Uh...well, I just changed her diaper." She bounced Judith on her hip to draw attention to the little infant. "But I think she's tired. She...won't go to sleep without you, ha."

Carol held out her arms, all too happy for the distraction. "Give her here."

Beth nodded and timidly walked over to her, ducking her head as she felt Daryl's cold and hard gaze.

She handed Judith over to Carol, and Carol smiled happily at the tired little infant. "Hi, there," she whispered slowly, and she felt Daryl's stare soften a bit.

Judith's eyelids fluttered open and closed, and for a moment, she forgot anyone else was in the room with her.

Rick's beautiful baby had been a key factor in helping lift her spirits when she was still mourning Daryl's departure, and whenever she looked into her big sparkling eyes she felt at ease, much like she was now. But then Daryl coughed and Beth shifted, and she was yanked back to reality.

Beth smiled at the two of them and backed away, patting her thighs and pursing her lips before turning and leaving the room. Carol stared after her with a sense of dread, knowing that her brief bubble of calm was about to pop.

Daryl looked as though he meant to say something, but didn't open his mouth.

"Did you want anything else?" She asked, looking expectantly as she cradled Judith. She wasn't up for another round of hard staring contests.

His lips twitched but didn't open, and for a few moments she thought that maybe he wouldn't say anything at all, but then-

"...'M happy for you."

The words were low and forced, and over the sound of Judith's soft cooing she thought that maybe she'd imagined it, but his lips had moved, and he'd said them.

Pinching her eyebrows, she shifted forward and opened her mouth to ask him what exactly he meant by that, but he had already turned on his heel and was walking away, feet pounding against the floor as he hung his head low.

The door closed shut behind him with a clamorous echo, and Beth appeared from her hiding place around the corner behind her.

"It's not the same...is it?" she asked, studying the side of the older woman's face as she stared after the spot Daryl had been.

"No..." Carol said, still cradling Judith. "It's not."

And it wasn't.

Nothing would ever be the same again.

* * *

**A/N: Ohh, the drama. Sorry if you were expecting Daryl to beat the crap out of Axel, it's just that I feel like he'd be the type of person to bottle it up rather than make a scene (in Season 3, anyway). Don't worry, though. It'll be well worth it (for us) when he explodes. Lol ;)**

**See you tomorrow!**


	6. Not Right

**A/N: 1/26/2015**

**wildcow258****: Wowzers! Thanks! :D I had a lot of fun writing this chapter especially, and not listening to Rick even after he told him not to call him Sheriff is something I feel like Axel would do XD I'm glad you liked the 'opener' Daryl used for their conversation as well :)**

**Salovi****: Haha lol! Technically it's _not_ a word, but I think 'squeezed' doesn't sound quite right. It's not a blatant spelling error, though - it's on the same level as 'anyways' vs 'anyway' and 'towards' vs 'toward'. Glad you're loving the quotes! :)**

**Prettyprincess45****: Oh, you're gonna love it. When Daryl bottles things up he explodes in boundless feels ;) Thanks for your review!**

**Stargate533****: Yeah most of us want to hug Daryl, lol. And by all means, _do_ look forward to when he explodes! ;)**

**Reading time: 7 mins.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Walking Dead.**

* * *

_"Happiness is beneficial for the body, but it is grief that develops the powers of the mind."_

\- Marcel Proust~

* * *

Chapter six: Not Right~

* * *

The rest of the day passed with a tenseness not natural to the usual flow of things around the prison.

Daryl hadn't elaborated on his whereabouts with Merle, or explained why he'd returned alone. Though everyone already knew the basic answer, no one had dared ask, either. She supposed they all assumed _she_ would be the one to ask, her being the closest to him and all, and that they could just get the latest gossip from her when the time came, but she had no intention of having another stressed conversation with him any time soon.

It was so strange, having him back.

She didn't know whether to hug him, to wrap him in her arms and be endlessly thankful for his safety and return, or to be angry and cross with him for leaving in the first place. So she kept her distance.

She worked outside when she knew Rick needed him in the prison, washed clothes and cared for Judith when he was out by the fences, and kept close to Axel for emotional support. She wouldn't call it avoiding; more like maintaining a healthy distance between herself and Daryl. Just so they could have time to get back into their old grooves.

It was dinner time now, and as she helped Maggie and Beth set one of the tables in the mess hall, she fought to keep her nerves in check.

She didn't know why, but she felt like throwing up.

She wasn't sick, she had no logical reason for the bats and moths fluttering frantically in her stomach, but there was nothing she could do to help the matter, either. And as Rick entered the room and gathered everyone around to eat, the feeling only got worse.

"_Man,_ I'm starvin'," Maggie remarked, seating herself between Glenn and her sister.

"I _know_," Beth replied, rubbing her empty belly. "I haven't eaten since breakfast."

Carol silently listened to their short conversation, hoping to distract herself from the queezy feeling in her own stomach. Axel sat on her right at the end of the bench seat, and Beth's arm grazed hers on her left, and Rick sat down across from her to ready himself for their tiny banquet. She considered excusing herself from the room on account of her unexplained nervousness, but feared what would happen if she opened her mouth.

"Carol?"

Her head snapped up, startled eyes meeting Rick's kind ones.

"You alright?" He whispered, reaching across the table to put his hand over hers.

Not trusting her stomach, she closed her mouth and nodded.

Her answer didn't seem overly convincing to the Sheriff, but he nodded his head and pulled his hand away, turning his attention to his children and the number of heads accounted for.

She watched, curious as his eyes bounced from person to person, quietly counting to himself, and stopped at the last empty place at the table. And just as his face knit into a worried frown, going back over the heads to try and see who was missing, Daryl burst in through the door.

The echo from the metal doors slamming against the wall made her jump, and Carol blinked involuntarily from the loud noise.

All eyes were on the hunter as he leisurely strolled up to their table, and the terrible knots in her stomach froze over when her gaze landed on him.

The air was thick and heavy with tensed silence, and though Carol knew why, she wished it wasn't. No one knew how to act around Daryl now that he was back, they didn't understand how he could be so similar yet so different from the man they'd known not two months ago. Everything should have been easy and simple and _better_ now that he was back, but it wasn't. Everything was different. And though they all knew and loved Daryl, he might as well have been a stranger.

Daryl wordlessly grabbed himself a fork and paper plate, either oblivious to the obvious tension or just blatantly ignoring it, and worked his way around the table grabbing whatever morsel caught his eye.

Instant potatoes here, fresh-grown carrots there.

Carol struggled with staying still in her seat, feeling the growing urge to shift and fidget, and it only got worse the closer he came.

Rick cleared his throat, deciding he would be the first to speak. "So how'd you do with the fences? Nothin' too hard to handle?" He asked, turning his head as Daryl moved behind him to the other end of the table.

"Aw, not much," he replied, sounding bored. "Jus' the same old, same old; walkers need killin'."

Rick nodded, looking down at his bare plate and then at Carol, seeming as though he were racking his brain for another topic.

Daryl finally made his way to her end of the table, his plate full with everything he wanted, and moved to sit down beside her.

Or at least he _would_ have, if Axel hadn't been there.

His eyes flicked twice between Carol and Axel, the latter of which smiled obliviously at him, before resting his gaze on hers.

She began to smile apologetically, but immediately dropped any such pathetic attempts to lighten the mood as the anger behind his stare hit her. The sheer _force_ of it slammed into her, her heart beating in slow, strong waves as she absorbed the overbearing emotion.

He looked accusing, but also hurt and betrayed. He had always sat by her when they ate, and to break such an unspoken tradition between them was like killing the very _roots_ of their friendship. But she had explained this to him, that she and Axel were together, and so it would be ridiculous of him to expect to maintain his place at her side when he'd been gone for so long. It was only natural that she find another to fill the empty space, and that was exactly what she did. Daryl's source of anger was irrational and unfounded - but that didn't mean he was incapable of making her feel like garbage for it.

Carol opened her mouth to say something - to defend Axel or apologize, she didn't know - but Rick beat her to it.

The ex-Sheriff cleared his throat and said, "Uh, I hope this is okay. We've changed some things around since you been gone, dinner bein' one of 'em. Sorry if it doesn't quite suit you."

A heavy silence pressed down on the entire table, and everyone kept their eyes downcast as Daryl continued to stare long and hard at Carol. She nearly broke under his gaze, but after five very strained, very _long_ seconds, he spoke.

"_No_..." he replied lowly, though he was still looking at Carol. "Suits me jus' fine."

Releasing her from his stare, Daryl took his plate and walked back over to the other side of the table, seating himself on the end next to Carl and Rick.

It was only after everyone started eating that she fully realized her mistake; this had been their first and only chance to get a sense of normalcy back in their already fragile relationship since he'd come back, and she'd just _ruined_ it. Singlehanded and unintentionally. Without even trying.

_Way to go, Carol,_ her mind scolded.

Keeping her eyes down, she took a forkful of corn and put it into her mouth, chewing at a semi-normal pace as she tried to deflect the glare aimed at her from across the table. She proceeded to engage in conversation with Axel, doing her best to ignore the uncomfortable heat collecting at the back of her skull and focus on the happiness radiating from the man beside her.

If anger could burn and hatred could light a fire, she would have burst into flames.

* * *

**A/N: Poor Carol, she has no idea what she's setting herself up for :(**

**See you tomorrow!**


	7. Not Well

**A/N: 1/27/2015 Grab your tissue boxes, Carylers, cuz this is gonna be a tough chapter :(**

**wildcow258****: Yeah, it sucks for both of them :/ And YES, you're absolutely right. Carol _will_ ask about Merle, it'll just happen later, when Daryl 'blows up' (specifically in the next two chapters). Thanks for your review, I always look forward to them :D**

**AntoDixon****: Thanks! I'm glad you're liking it so far! Greetings from the US! :D**

**Guest****: Haha sorry about that! I just can't help it XD Thanks for your review and encouragement! :)))**

**Stargate533****: Don't worry, they will ;)**

**Reading time: 9 mins.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Walking Dead.**

* * *

_"For I am weak in soul, _

_And weak in body, yea. _

_And of sinful passions_

_Am I a vicious slave."_

\- Ostrov's The Island~

* * *

Chapter seven: Not Well~

* * *

Tending to an injured man at ten a.m. in her cell was _hardly_ Carol's idea of a good morning.

_"Ow!_"

Axel yelped, jerking away from her and the peroxide-filled cloth she held, bumping his head on the metal bars of the bunk above him.

Carol pulled the side of her mouth down, sighing dramatically as she waited for him to calm down. Reaching forward, she laid the wet cloth on the blond man's oozing forehead, and he winced as she held it in place.

"Mmhm. Stings, doesn't it?"

"Like hell," Axel muttered, squinting his eyes in pain.

"You mind telling me how you got this?" She asked, raising her eyebrows expectantly as she cleaned the bleeding cut.

"Well, I was out in the gardens - y'know helpin' Rick an' Carl with the plantin'? - when I realized we were missin' a rake. So I got up to go look for it, when I stepped onto somethin' hard an' rough, and the next thing I know I'm on the ground with a bleedin' cut and a split head! And can ya guess what I stepped on?"

"The rake?" She asked, smiling as she humored him.

"The rake!" He exclaimed, smacking his knee.

Carol joined in with Axel as he laughed, the sound bouncing off the walls and echoing out into the hall before dying back into silence.

"...Hey," he said, getting her attention. "Are you okay? You look a little worn around the eyes."

Carol quieted, her smile fading, and looked down at her hands.

She couldn't really deny it; she _was_ feeling worn around the eyes - she'd hardly slept a wink last night, thanks to Daryl. No, that wasn't right. She'd hardly slept a wink last night because of _herself_, not Daryl or anyone else. Sure, her thoughts were centered around Daryl, but that was hardly cause to blame everything on him...Oh, what was she saying?

Carol exhaled, rubbing her eyes to try and get the tiredness out of them, and smiled.

"Thanks for the concern, but, I think I'll be fi-"

Her sentence went unfinished as Daryl came to stand at the edge of her cell, and she and Axel simultaneously turned their heads to stare at him.

"Hey, there," Axel waved, one eye covered by his hand as he held the sanitizing cloth to his forehead.

Daryl did little more than briefly sweep his gaze in his direction in reply, the corner of his lip curling in what Carol immediately recognized as irritation.

"Can I talk to you fer a minute?" He asked softly, ignoring the other man as he looked hopefully at her and played idly with a hangnail on his thumb.

If he had tried asking her to tear herself away from an injured person under the ruse of wanting to 'talk' any other time, she would have told him to fly a kite. But it was _Axel_ that was hurt, and he got hurt all the time. The scratch on his forehead wasn't fatal, and the softness in Daryl's tone and the pleading look in his eyes tugged on her heartstrings in the worst and best of ways.

She sighed, cursing her bleeding heart as she opened her mouth to voice her decision.

"Uh...Yeah. Yeah, alright."

Getting up from her stool, Carol wiped her hands on her pants and smiled sadly at Axel, specifically at the covered wound on his head, and reached over to pat his shoulder.

Axel covered her hand with his as she moved out of touching distance, and her hand slid out of his loose grip as she followed Daryl down the hall.

* * *

He led her to a skinny hallway that was seldom used, out of earshot and away from the others. She recognized it as the spot he'd found her in when he'd assumed she was dead, when they'd first found the prison.

"So what did you want?" She asked, feeling anxious.

Daryl shifted uncomfortably on his feet, scuffing his boot and staring at the floor. She found it funny how he could be so sure of himself one minute and then turn to putty the next.

"I jus' wanted to talk."

"About what?" She prodded, brows pinching curiously.

"About how you keep _avoidin'_ me," he said, staring intently at her.

Her eyes widened, and despite her having imagined this moment a thousand times, she didn't know what to say.

"...Oh."

"_'Oh'?_" he scoffed, face twisting unpleasantly. "That all you have to say? We ain't seen each other in _weeks_ an' that's the best you can come up with?"

She was speechless. "I...I can't..."

"Can't _what?_" He probed, voice low as he leaned down into her personal space. "I've been here a whole day and we ain't done _nothin_' together. Not one single thing. And I _know_ it ain't cuz you've been 'busy'. Now tell me; what's wrong?"

Carol pursed her lips, holding his gaze with the strength she'd acquired throughout their time apart, and went over what she was going to say in her head before spitting it out.

Closing her eyes and sighing, she said, "I just wanted us to have enough time to get back into our old grooves." She opened her eyes to look at him, and she could tell that he knew that was only part of the answer he wanted. She continued. "But...I know _now_ that...we can't."

Daryl's eyebrows twitched, as though he didn't understand. "What do you mean?"

"I _mean_ we _can't_," she said, irritation flaring. _How could he not understand?_ "We can't get back to where we were before. I know you think that we can, but we can't."

"Well sure we can," he replied, as though it were nothing. "All it takes is some catchin' up and a few supply runs, and we'll be back into our grooves just like before-"

"_No!_" She said, becoming frustrated. "There _are_ no grooves to get back into! Don't you see? We're not the _same_ as we were before! We've been through things that the other can't even fathom because we have no clue! We hardly _know_ each other anymore! And, I know you want to just pick up where we left off, but we can't _do_ that now because we've _grown_ and we've _changed_ and we can't _fit into _those roles anymore!"

Carol heaved, tears springing up in her eyes at the passion with which she spoke.

And it was true. They couldn't just 'get back' whatever they'd had before, because they weren't the same people as they had been all those weeks ago. They had the same faces, the same bodies and hair and clothes, but they were different on the inside. She knew it, and now he knew it too.

Daryl swallowed, trying to come up with a decent reply as he stared at her, surprised at her outburst.

"...We could still get back what we had-"

"_No_, Daryl. We _can't_. And, I don't _want_ it to be that way, I don't _want_ to grow apart from you...but...it's just the way it has to be."

Daryl looked to floor, as though hoping the dirty, cold cement would give him some answers.

"Well...then, what do we do?"

"There's nothing we _can_ do," she said, smiling sadly as she crossed her arms.

"There has to be somethin'."

She shook her head. "There's not."

"So you're jus' gonna _give up?_" He said angrily, tossing his arm up. "Just like that?"

She looked at him, mouth drawn down as she fought to reign in her tears and keep them from spilling over. "I'm so sorry."

Daryl's expression softened, the muscles in his face going slack with shock, and he stared at her for the longest moment she'd ever experienced, but she'd only had time to blink before he changed again. She watched, her heart swelling with pain and sadness as he closed himself off from her, his face hardening and his eyes going sharp. The suddenness of it almost scared her, and it was as if she were watching the gruesome transformation of some horrific creature.

Daryl straightened his back and broadened his shoulders, raising his chin to look down at her.

"Yeah," he said finally, ice in his tone. "Me too."

He brushed past her as one would do to a stray cat or homeless person, and Carol waited with shaky legs as he left down the hall.

She leaned against the wall, finding comfort in its coldness, and placed a hand on her chest to help steady her grieving heart. She closed her eyes, trying to focus on her breathing, and a silent stream of tears leaked down her cheeks.

She hadn't wanted to sever her ties with Daryl. But she knew that, if she didn't, she would go on the rest of her life with a chip on her shoulder and a never-ending grudge towards the person who _should_ have been her best friend.

It was better this way, she told herself. Best if she moved on now and continued her life with Axel than living out the rest of her days in pain and regret, however long they lasted.

It was better this way.

It was just a shame it didn't feel like it.

* * *

**A/N: Waaah! :( I know, I know, this is SUPER bad for Caryl, but it'll all work out, I promise! Daryl won't stand idly by while Carol goes trotting off with Axel for long. He just has to snap so they can both get their 'feeeelings' out in the open, and then everything's gonna start getting better...in the next few chapters. It'll all be worth it for the end :)**

**See you tomorrow!**


	8. Not Expected

**A/N: 1/28/2015**

**wildcow258****: Yes, Carol has no idea what she's done :( I hadn't made that observation, but you're right! Axel is so much more of a crybaby than Daryl! Haha XD**

**AntoDixon****: Thank you. And yes, don't worry, they will :)**

**Guest****: Thanks! :)**

**Stargate533****: I laughed when I read your review! Brutal indeed! But yes, we must keep the hope :)**

**Reading time: 10 mins.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Walking Dead.**

* * *

_"Our only kiss was like an accident - a beautiful gasoline rainbow."_

\- Alice Sebold, The Lovely Bones~

* * *

Chapter eight: Not Expected~

* * *

The following week was Hell.

It felt as if the hours passed like slugs, seconds turning into minutes and minutes into days. The menial tasks and chores she was usually stuck with didn't seem as routine or safe or relaxing as they used to, and she passed each day with thoughts that strayed to the young hunter just at the edge of her reach. Daryl hadn't said so much as a word to her since they last spoke, and the only way she could tell he still looked at her was when the back of her skull vibrated and buzzed from the heat of his glares. Each day she pondered her decision, and each day her thoughts felt more like regrets. She swore the hand on her watch took twice as long to move.

But nevertheless, life went on.

Rick still continued to direct the group and work with Carl in the gardens, Maggie and Glenn were still together, Hershel still tended to those who needed his help, Beth still helped out around the prison, and Judith still continued to grow. Everything in the small world around her was perfect. If only everything _inside_ her world were perfect too.

Carol sat up, straightening her back as she tried to ease the aching in her lower spine.

She'd been washing clothes with Axel in the prison for over an hour now, and the measely wooden stools they sat on and the large buckets they had to lean over to work were wearing on their overworked muscles.

"Well," Axel said, resting a hand on his knee as he leaned over to try and stretch. "Look on the bright side: at least we don't have to work out in the blazin' sun."

"_Ha!_" Carol barked. "_I'll_ say! That's a very good point."

Up to now, she was still able to find happiness amidst her warring feelings and Daryl's cold shoulder in Axel. The man was a _sun_, and he never ceased to shine. Which seemed strange, considering how often he got shot down by the other members of the group. Still, she was ever so thankful for it, because he would never know just how much she appreciated his positivity. Without it, she might have gone insane.

"Okay. I think it's about time we gave it a rest," Carol said, voice strained as she got up on achey knees.

"Sure thing, sister," Axel readily agreed, standing up with some difficulty as well.

"I swear, sometimes it feels like I'm fifty years old," she muttered, reaching up to stretch her arms.

"Aww, now that can't be. You're too perdy to be _that_ old," he said matter-of-factly, smiling.

Carol sputtered a laugh at his use of 'perdy', and the two stood there a moment just basking in each other's company, happy to have one another in the midst of an apocalypse.

And then suddenly, the happiness stopped.

The back of her head began to buzz and tingle and _burn_, and her smile froze before slowly disappearing altogether. Slowly, she turned around, already knowing who it was behind her but needing confirmation anyway, and hesitantly she lifted her eyes to meet theirs.

Daryl stood at the other end of the room, a sling of dead squirrels hanging from his fist as he glared at her with pursed lips.

Her eyes flitted down his face to the gruesomely murdered animals in his hand, blood caked up to his elbows, and she couldn't help but picture it as her own head hanging from the string. She gulped, lowering her eyes to the floor and looking away, staying quiet and still as the strained silence left a ringing in her ears.

Daryl stepped forward, his footstep echoing loud in the room, and slowly began to make his way past them.

Carol kept her head down as he passed her, avoiding his gaze as she crossed her arms protectively around herself and tried not to make any sudden movements or noises. She felt like a scared rabbit (or maybe a mouse, as Merle had observed) on the verge of death, trapped and cornered. Even with Axel by her side, it felt as though she were in a dark tunnel with little to no light. It was almost animalistic; he was the big bad predator and she was the poor, helpless prey.

She _felt_ like an animal, too - alone and defenseless, with nothing else to give her hope of surviving except submissiveness and non-threatening behavior. It was sad and pathetic, and it went against almost everything she'd learned over the past two months, but it was all she had. Around him, she was close to nothing.

Daryl walked past her, the corner of his top lip curling as his eyes landed on Axel, and continued across the room and down the hall until he came to the door, and left.

Carol let out a relieved breath, closing her eyes as she loosened her crossed arms, and Axel did the same.

"Woo, _man_," the blond man remarked. "That man needs to take a chill pill."

She chuckled, low and nervous. "Yeah...let's put this stuff away. You go and hang the clothes out to dry, I'll clean things up here."

"You sure?" He asked, brows lifting.

She nodded. "I'm sure."

"Well, okay..."

Bending down, Axel lifted the bin of sopping wet clothes into his arms, saluted her, and then walked behind her and through the door leading outside.

Carol sighed, smiling as she stared after him, and turned to the task at hand.

Gathering the spare soap and discarded rags, she tossed them into the bucket she'd been using and then poured all of the dirty water from Axel's into hers. Setting the full bucket inside the empty one, she grabbed hold of the handles on either side and lifted carefully with her legs, careful not to put any extra strain on her back.

Turning on her heel, she headed for the shower rooms, intent on focusing her energy into work, when Axel suddenly burst back through the door and trotted up to her.

She nearly dropped the buckets as she jumped, startled out of her mind.

"Oh!"

She put a hand to her chest.

"Axel, you scared me!"

"Aw, geez. I'm sorry, Carol," Axel apologized, making a 'yikes' face as he hunched his shoulders regretfully. "I just wanted to letchya know that Beth's takin' over my job at the clothin' lines. Rick an' Carl need me out by the fences."

Her eyebrows furrowed. "Well who's watching Judith?"

"Oh, she's sleepin'," he replied, hands clasped in front of himself as though holding an imaginary hat. "Been out like a light for about twenty minutes, I'd reckon."

She nodded, her heartbeat finally returning to its normal pace. "Okay. Go on, I'll take care of things from here. I'm sure they need you."

He grinned, nice and wide. "Well thanks, Carol! Glad to know you approve."

She chuckled. "Haha, you're welcome."

Axel smiled, the tips of his mustache lifting with the movement, and stepped forward to whisper to her.

"So I've been thinkin'," he began, looking down shyly. "Maybe after we're done with work an' all, we could go down by the fields an-"

His sentence went unfinished as Daryl rounded the corner, feet swiftly moving as he walked purposefully up to them.

Carol's mouth went dry and her heart went frigid.

She began to wonder how he'd managed to make his way around the prison and back to the room they occupied in such a short amount of time, but she barely had time to _swallow_ as he came to stand mere inches away, his back to Axel as he ignored him completely.

"Can I talk to you fer a minute?" He whispered lowly, teeth clenched. Her eyes drifted to Axel, and he shifted to block her view. "_Alone?_" He stressed, tone clearly implying that it wasn't a request.

Carol gulped, and though her mind screamed at her to tell him no, she did the exact opposite. Call it panic, call it fear, but she found herself setting down the buckets and nodding in agreement.

"Uh...y-yeah."

She was going to say more, but apparently that small word was all he needed; without so much as a glance at Axel, he grabbed hold of her arm and began stalking away, out of sight and down the hall.

Her sleeves were rolled up to her elbows and the skin below that point was soaked with detergent water, but he hardly seemed to care as his grip was in no danger of slipping, and she idly noticed that the blood on his hands was gone. She didn't bother protesting the vice-like hold he had on her wrist, or the nature of his wanting to meet with her; it was pointless, after all. She'd been around him and his brother long enough to know that once a Dixon had made up their mind, either agree with them or get out of their way. There was no inbetween.

They walked for what seemed like hours before he reached the destination he wanted.

Stopping for no more than a split-second, Daryl dragged her into the shower rooms, which were never used unless someone had something to pour down the drain, and was (oddly enough) where she'd been headed anyway. She remained silent as he led her to the very back of the room, vision blurring in tiled floors and water puddles as they moved.

He gave one strong tug as he hurled her in front of him, spinning her around to face him as her back slammed into the wall.

She opened her mouth to ask him what he wanted, but she never got the chance as he swooped forward and crushed her mouth to his.

* * *

**A/N: And here we have the pre-explosion :D I know this is probably the worst cliffhanger of the whole _story_, but I couldn't help it XD**

** Let me know what you think!**

**See you tomorrow! **


	9. Not Fine

**A/N: 1/29/2015 WOW, great to know the last chapter was taken so well! Thanks for all the reviews, guys! :D **

**Interesting fact: the quote for this chapter is the only one in the entire story that's from a book I've actually read XD**

**wildcow258****: YES, _finally!_ :D**

**frickandfrack09****: Sholy hit, thanks a lot! I'm glad you're loving this so much! And you're welcome, I figured it was the least I could do :)**

**fangirl8494****: Ah! You sailed off the cliff?! I hope you landed somewhere safe like a pond or a lake D: Haha but thank you, I'm glad you adore 'my' Daryl so XD Thanks for sharing your favorite line, too! I love it when people do that! :D**

**DustyClouds****: Oh. Well okay then XD Eeek! I love it when I cause squeal-inducing updates! :3 I'm glad it was such a feel-good chapter for you, just try not to let your heart swell too much. Wouldn't want it to burst, lol ;)**

**Sideswipe124****: No problem! Tons of people are too lazy to log in ;P And wow, really? I've actually inspired someone to maybe start writing? Well go for it! I'll even check it out if you want me to, I love WD fanfics :) Thank you SO much for your review, I'll probably be thinking I'm aaaamaaaazziiiiinnnnnggg for the rest of this story :D **

**Stargate533****: Indeed! Leave it to Daryl to not beat around the bush. And don't worry, no slapping will occur ;)**

**Reading time: 11 mins.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Walking Dead.**

* * *

_"Their rage could burn no brighter, but their sorrow was bottomless."_

\- James A Moore, Sea of Sorrows, chapter 46~

* * *

Chapter nine: Not Fine~

* * *

To say she was shocked was an understatement.

She was in pure, utter disbelief. She was dumbfounded. Speechless. Flabbergasted. She was...she didn't even know what she was, really. So many different feelings and emotions and thoughts swept through her in hard, rolling waves that she just wasn't sure _how_ she was feeling, let alone what. And as Daryl fisted his hands in her hair and pushed his lips insistently against hers, it was all she could do to widen her eyes and lift her hands in surprise.

It couldn't quite be labeled as a kiss; it was far too rough and violent and angry for such a simple word, _hardly_ descriptive of one's expressing of affection. And it didn't help that he was inexperienced and therefore had no idea what he was doing, either - if anything, it made the experience all the more unpleasant. No, this was more akin to revenge or backlash, something he could do that would make her uncomfortable and regretful, sad and hurt, pained and heartbroken.

_Just like him,_ she thought.

Carol jerked as sharp teeth pierced her lip, and suddenly she came to her senses. Panicking, she frantically wrapped her hands around the collar of his vest and pushed as hard as she could, shoving him a good yard away with her short burst of strength.

"What is _wrong_ with you?!" She shrieked, eyes wide as she wiped at her bleeding lip.

Daryl stared at her, chest heaving as he regained his balance. She could see that he was seething with anger rather than lack of breath, and she watched as he pursed his lips from the mounting emotion. She prepared herself for the onslought.

"_Me?!_" He yelled, spit flying as he glared at her. "_I_ ain't the one _shacked_ up with an ex-prison convict!"

"...Is that what this is about?" She asked, brows furrowing in anger along with him. "You're _mad_ because I was able to be happy with someone after you left?"

His anger faltered, and he stumbled a bit as he shifted on his feet.

He must have been expecting more of a fight, and maybe that's what he'd wanted; after all, he obviously hadn't expected her to be so spot on and hit the nail on the head. But she knew that things were far from over, and as he clenched his fists and pursed his lips she steeled herself for another unpleasant outburst.

"..._Dammit_, woman, I was only gone fer a few _weeks!_"

He yelled as though it explained everything, and the sound echoed and bounced off the tiled walls.

"You were gone for over a _month!_" She yelled back, stepping forward and jamming an angry finger towards the ground to illustrate her point. "Did you really think that you could just _leave_ and I'd still be here waiting for you when you _finally_ decided to come back? _If_ you came back?"

"That's _exactly_ what the hell I thought!" He shouted, veins in his neck straining with the volume. "'Scuse _me_ for thinkin' you _cared!_"

She blinked rapidly, mouth agape as she absorbed his words. "Wha- _excuse_ me?! _Thinking I cared? I'm_ not the one who _left_ without so much as a _word!_ Did you honestly think I'd be sitting here for the rest of my life being an unhappy _wreck_ while you were out doing God knows what with your brother? Did you think that I would grow old and wait for you in my widow's chair and never move on?"

He lost his steam then, suddenly avoiding her gaze in favor of the floor, and she realized that she wasn't wrong.

"..._Did_ you?" She pressed, desperate to know.

He was silent for a moment, but found it in himself to let out one final burst of the anger that was quickly diminishing.

"Man, I woulda _never_ gotten over _you!_"

He was so loud that her ears vibrated and _hurt_, and she jumped at its intensity as he threw an angry arm in her direction before losing his drive altogether.

He turned his back on her, completely deflated and devoid of anything except pain and hurt, and after a few silent moments she realized he was crying.

Carol stared with sad eyes at the man she'd come to know, feeling her heart pull and tug in the most painful of ways at the sorry sight before her.

And it was then that she realized what was wrong with him, why he'd seemed so unchanged yet so different since coming back to the prison; it was all an act. He'd been struggling since day one to keep up the appearance of the man they all used to know, shoving everything down into the recesses of his mind and heart, never to be felt or found again. And it was only because of her, because of her stupid selfishness and unyielding grudge, that he was breaking down now.

She didn't know whether to feel good about finding out the truth, or bad about the nature of her discovery in the first place, but she knew one thing for absolute certain: she needed to fix it. And although she didn't know how, as she'd never dealt with this side of him before, she had to try. Because she'd stood by this far and watched him delve into the dark crevice of his mind, and it was her duty to pull him out of it, to reach out and repair the broken shell of her fellow survivor and dearest friend.

"...Daryl?" She called softly, stepping towards him.

She knew it wasn't a good idea, but she reached out to lay a hand on his shoulder.

It was meant to be light, just a comforting touch to let him know she was there, but he was having none of it. Daryl lurched as though being burned, and he shook her hand away.

She moved to step in front of him, to look him in the eyes, and he weakly attempted to turn away and avoid her gaze as she lifted her hands to his arms to steady him.

"_Daryl_," she said again, and he stared at her through blurry eyes. "What happened to Merle?"

His chest shuddered with a grieving breath and his nose twitched as he tried to quell his tears, but he said nothing. Instead, he merely cried harder. Carol ran her hands up and down his arms, but she didn't dare try hugging him or pulling him closer. After all she'd put him through, it was the least she could do to give him his space and be content with the small amount he'd given her.

They stood there for a while, alone and unbothered, and for a moment she assumed that she wouldn't get an answer at all, but then-

"He...he's _gone_..."

The words were soft and broken, jumbled and nearly unintelligible through his tears, but she understood them. Carol said nothing, made no move or indication to let him know she'd heard, but he continued nonetheless.

"We were out by the border, gettin' ready to cross into South Carolina, when we split up to go look for supplies." He paused to sniffle and blink the tears from his eyes. "He wasn't at the camp when I got back, so I went out to look for 'im. And when I found 'im he was...he was..."

His eyes blurred as a new wave of tears forced their way out of him, and Carol's did the same. She could never _fathom_ losing a sibling, and though she'd lost her child, the grief brought on by the loss of a brother or sister would forever be foreign.

Daryl drew in a sharp breath, squeezing his eyes shut as he bowed his head in sorrow. Carol opened her mouth to say something, to offer some kind of good word or comfort, but he wasn't finished. He lifted his head, tears subsiding, and continued.

"I didn't have nowhere else to go, so I came back here. Figured if I didn't have my brother no more, then at least I'd have..."

_You._

"But I guess I was _wrong_," he finished, his breathing returning to normal as his grief made way for anger.

Carol looked at him sympathetically, wishing she could take back _everything_. A single heartbeat was all it took for her sadness to become overrun with regret and self-loathing, and it only became worse when she tried to speak.

"...Daryl, I-"

She gently gripped his shoulders to try and comfort him, but she was met with only the most vile of resistance.

"_No!_" He protested, raising his arms and wrenching free of her hold. He backed away a few steps, then looked sternly at her as he cut through the air between them with his hand. "_No_. It's too late for that now."

Carol tried to swallow down the rock lodged in her throat, and she blinked to clear her tears. "Daryl, _please_, we can work this out-"

"No, we _can't_." He said. "You said so yourself. We've changed. We ain't the same as we were back then...I jus' wished I woulda realized it soon as you did."

He paused, then muttered, "I'm goin' on a run. I'm _done_ with you..."

Daryl turned away, shaking his head as he stalked out of the room and disappeared.

Carol raised both hands and wiped away at her eyes, sniffling as she tried to control her erratic breathing.

She was so awful. How could she do that? How could she turn away the _one_ person who mattered most and just..._leave_ them like that to work through their problems that were obviously too burdensom for them to bear alone? What did that make her?

What manner of horrible _monster_ formed a bond with someone and then cut all ties with no intention of looking back? For no other reason than selfish grudges? She was terrible. She was a terrible, horrible, awful, no-good person, and she'd singlehandedly left their friendship in tatters.

Carol leaned against the tiled wall, feeling as though she were about to vomit or faint, or both.

She didn't know what to do now. Daryl clearly hated her, and she doubted if he'd ever want to see her face again. She wouldn't be surprised if he left and never came back. It would be a cruel irony, too, considering she never meant for him to leave in the first place. But should she still try and repair what they had, or was there nothing left to do but move forward? She didn't know what to do now. She didn't know what to do...

She was a terrible person.

And she'd never felt so helpless.

* * *

**A/N: So now Carol finally knows how it feels to be on the _other_ end of rejection. A cruel irony, I'd say :/ Don't worry, I know Daryl said he was 'done', but believe me he's not. Like he said, if it had been him that stayed and Carol that had left, he 'would have never gotten over her' ;)**

**Share your thoughts! :D**

**'Til next time!**


	10. Not Happy

**A/N: 1/30/2015 I'm a tad late with this one, but oh well. This one's a shorty, but it does count as a chapter. So read on, my pretties! :P**

**wildcow258****: Aww, I'm sorry! :( Yeah, that was the part that got me the most too, it was tough to write. But at the same time, I felt it was realistic. If Daryl lost Merle (which he did) he'd at least want to have Carol. And yeah, Carol's jumping to conclusions, assuming Daryl hates her, but then again who _wouldn't_ have their mind bouncing all over the place if they feared they'd just lost someone dear to them? Thanks for your review :)**

**frickandfrack09****: Ohoo I love your username, frickandfrack; I say it in my head every time I see your reviews, it's so fun XD Aherm, anyway, YES, that is _very_ tough shiz for both of them to go through. But they'll figure it out eventually. Thanks for your review! :)**

**fangirl8494****: Glad to have surprised you! I'm really glad you like this story! :D **

**Guest****: Wow, thanks! I'm glad you think I write emotions well :D And that's actually a pretty good idea, sneaking off on a run. Wish I would have thought of it ;) Thanks!**

**Stargate533****: Sorry! You'll feel better in the next chapter or so :D**

**DarylDixon'sLover: Yes, Carol is in the wrong. But don't worry, she knows what she's done and she WILL fix it. Thank you for both your review and PM ;)**

**Sideswipe124****: Oh, thank you! I'm so happy you like the direction I've taken this story, as well as my writing style :D And I know I've already told you over PM, but the reason I can update so fast is because I've already got the story written ;)**

**DustyClouds****: Hm. Glad I could surprise you ;) I'm also glad you like my writing style. I'm insecure about it every now and then as far as believability, but reviews like yours really make me smile. Thanks! :)**

**Reading time: 4 mins.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Walking Dead.**

* * *

_"When I kept silence, my bones waxed old through my roaring all the day long."_

\- Psalm 32:3~

* * *

Chapter ten: Not Happy~

* * *

Daryl never came back from his run.

The sun set, the day was done, and no one had seen him since he'd left. She wasn't worried about whether or not he was okay - he could handle himself just fine, she'd learned that a long time ago - she was worried if he'd come back. After what happened, she couldn't say she expected him to. After all, what reason did he have to stick around now, after she'd so blatantly rejected him?

Still, it wasn't as though she could do anything about it now. Besides, hadn't she screwed everything up enough? Wasn't it about time she just quit? Daryl would decide for himself what was best for him, in the end, and she had no say in such matters now. She'd given up that right the second she'd chosen Axel.

She didn't deserve it anyway. She would _never_ be deserving of the countless times he'd saved her life or the unconditional friendship and devotion he'd invested in her, and looking back she honestly didn't know what he'd seen in her to decide such a relationship was worth the risk to begin with. He'd been perfectly fine before they'd come to know each other. He'd been perfectly fine...

Carol closed her eyes and sighed, pillowing her head on her arm as she stared up at the metal bars that held up the bunk above her.

It was so dark in the prison at night. Almost creepy. But she had come too far and gone through too much to be afraid of the dark now.

She rolled onto her side, facing the wall of blackness resting inches from her face, and curled into the fetal position.

Tears slipped down her cheeks of their own accord, and she fought to keep silent so as not to wake anyone with the echoes of her sobs. The last thing she needed was for everyone to be up in arms because she was having a bad day.

That was the one thing she didn't like about this place, the prison - everyone could hear what the other was saying, if they only took the time to listen. The cavernous walls held no secrets, and it was nearly impossible to keep anything under wraps for long.

And as she lay there, quiet as a mouse as she cried and stared into black, empty nothingness, she realized with a full intensity that no matter what she did or how much she tried, she would never stop loving Daryl Dixon. She would never be able to move on, and Axel would never be able to fill his place. The small world she'd built around herself was crumbling, and she was forced to accept the end of a wonderful illusion and face the ugly, beautiful, terrifying, inescapable and irrevocable truth.

She, Carol Peletier, was in love with Daryl Dixon.

And nothing was ever going to change that.

Which of course only made it that much harder for her to accept that he may never be coming back. The thought that he would leave and not return was _terrifying_, and it sent frantic, fearful jolts through her with every heartbeat. She wasn't sure if she could go through that again. Hell, she _knew_ she couldn't. It would be her breaking point, the final push that tipped the scales and sent her hurling over the precipice she'd been so carefully balanced on, and she would be left with a hole so gaping, so _wide_ and_ cavernous_, that no amount of numbness or distractions would ever be able to fill it.

Judith wouldn't be enough.

Rick or Hershel or any of the others wouldn't be enough.

Chores and day-to-day tasks and keeping busy wouldn't be enough.

The artificial happiness that Axel provided would _never_ be enough - it was little more than a drug, an emotional high to help her get through the day, and maybe blot out the memories of the man she'd missed every second of every hour for days on end. Nothing would ever be enough without Daryl.

Carol let loose a single, involuntary sob, unable to contain her grief any longer. She clapped a hand over her mouth as the sound echoed out of her cell and into the halls, hoping to God that no one heard. A few tired grumbles and the sound of creaking beds and shifting sheets were all that greeted her ears, and she closed her eyes in thanks.

She didn't know what she was going to do, come morning. Daryl was gone, and he probably wasn't coming back this time.

Her nerves felt like violin strings, tensed to the point of snapping.

She wasn't sure how much more she could take.

* * *

**A/N: Just one more chapter to suffer through, people. And then we get to be happy :'D**

**See you tomorrow!**


	11. Not Going to Work

**A/N: 1/31/2015**

**wildcow258****: Yes, life is funny like that sometimes. But like you said, at least Carol knows her true feelings now. Thanks! :)**

**AntoDixon****: Thank you so much! I'm very happy you enjoy this story, especially the last two chapters. Hopefully you'll love the next two as well :) **

**Guest****: Aww, thank you ^^ **

**Stargate533****: Okay, good to hear. You're a trooper! :) **

**DarylDixon'sLover****: She WILL fix her mess, starting with Axel! :D**

**Reading time: 8 mins.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Walking Dead.**

* * *

_"Is it you I want? Or just the notion of a heart to wrap around so I can find my way around?"_

\- Breaking Benjamin, Rain~

* * *

Chapter eleven: Not Going to Work~

* * *

The next morning, Carol awoke to the sounds of Judith's crying and the bustling footsteps of Rick and the others.

She squinted her eyes and grumbled, relishing the feeling of her rested bones, and it was then that she remembered. Yesterday. Tears. Guilt. Daryl. Feeling tears sting at her eyes, she rolled onto her side and raised her hands to cover her face, wishing she would've been able to savor the few seconds of obliviousness mornings always granted.

She wanted to stay in bed forever and cry into her pillow like a teenage girl. But she knew that she couldn't. Because there was work to be done. And God forbid if she let Daryl Dixon or anyone else stop her from being of use to the group.

Carol exhaled, clearing the tears from her eyes and mellowing her emotions before slowly moving to get up.

She squinted her eyes and held a hand above her head to shield herself from the sunlight streaming through the barred windows.

She never knew why, but for some reason whenever she cried for long periods of time her eyes became sensitive. She probably wasn't the only one, of course, but she wasn't about to ask Beth or Maggie about such things; their feminine intuitions would hone in immediately on her distress at such a topic. Lori probably would have already asked, had she still been alive...

Carol was ripped from her thoughts as Beth came noisily down the metal stairs with Judith in her arms.

The poor girl looked downright exhausted - her hair had messy, stray strands sticking out at every angle with bits of baby food stuck in it, her eyes were worn, and she was breathing heavily - and she came to stand at the foot of the stairs to rest while Judith wailed.

"Need help?" Carol asked, turning towards her with crossed arms.

Beth closed her eyes and nodded, wincing when Judith reached a particularly high note. "Yes, please."

Carol swiftly crossed the distance between them, holding her arms out for her to hand off Judith.

"Thanks," Beth breathed gratefully, closing her eyes and pinching her brows together.

"You're welcome," she replied, bouncing Judith as the young infant's cries slowly dissolved. "I just can't believe you didn't come get me sooner if she's been this grumpy."

"We were gonna wake you up, but, Rick said to leave you be."

Beth smiled softly, and Carol looked away from Judith's calmed face to stare quizzically at the blonde. "What do you mean? It's only eight o'clock, isn't it?"

The teen backed away, past the staircase, eyebrows raised in what could only be described as sympathy. "Carol...it's almost _noon_."

As the older woman gaped at her, she made her exit, and Carol stared blankly at the space she'd occupied just moments before in complete shock.

She'd slept in that long? But she couldn't possibly; she'd only been awake for an hour or so past bedtime...hadn't she?

Not quite believing what she was hearing, Carol swiveled around and looked up through the barred windows to determine the light of day, disappointed to find that Beth was right. It was no wonder the others were already bustling around - she'd slept in for nearly four hours!

"Damn," she muttered, sighing as she turned and looked at the ground.

Judith squeaked in discomfort, and Carol ran her hand over her soft hair and covered her ears. "Oh, I'm sorry, honey!" She said softly, kissing her head. "I didn't mean that."

She looked back at the door Beth had gone through, and sighed.

She didn't know what she was going to do today; the day was practically half over now. But she was definitely going to do something.

She didn't know what.

But she was going to do something.

* * *

She had no idea how she'd managed it, but she got through the day.

No crying, no tears, no almost-tears. Just...getting through. It was nice, compared to the alternative. But of course, that was then. This was now, and right now she was approaching Rick and Carl and Axel while they killed walkers trying to get through the fences with no intention other than to get Axel alone so she could talk with him in private.

_Oh, who are you kidding?_ Her mind scolded. _You're breaking up with him!_

Carol sighed, pushing the thoughts aside, and smiled deceivingly at the three young men as she came to stand before them.

Rick was the first to notice. "Hey, Carol. Somethin' wrong?"

"Oh no," she said, shaking her head. "Nothing's wrong. I just wanted to know if I could borrow Axel for a minute."

The man in question turned around, perking up at the sound of his name.

"Well sure thing, Carol," Axel replied, only to hang his head when he remembered Rick. "If- if it's okay with you, of course."

Rick looked between the two of them, and nodded his head. "Go right ahead. None o' my business."

He waved a hand dismissively at them, and Carol exhaled in relief as she turned around and Axel followed her.

* * *

She led them back into the prison, into a hallway she knew to be far away from the others, and prepared herself for what she was about to do.

Axel didn't deserve someone like her anyhow, she reasoned. He deserved someone bright and happy and filled to the _brim_ with stories and laughter, like him. He needed a sky and clouds to accompany his sunny disposition, and that wasn't her. She was a moon - a complete opposite. And though she'd needed him in the past to survive (for how can a moon shine without the rays of the sun?) she was strong enough now to know that she didn't need him anymore.

Carol came to a stop in the long hallway, turning around to face a curious and quizzical Axel.

She didn't want to do this to him, but it needed to be done. Her source of light may die out, but she could still exist without it. And besides, how unfair was it for her to siphon off such happiness and unbridled joy in the first place? It was time to say goodbye to her sun.

"Okay, uh...I don't really know of any other way to put this, so I'm just gonna go ahead and say it. I don't think we should keep seeing each other."

Axel blinked, once, twice before her words truly sunk in, and his eyes widened the smallest fraction in surprise.

"...I'm really sorry," she said, not sure what else to say. "I just can't do this anymore."

"It's okay," he said, looking down and kicking at an invisible pebble. "I was surprised you wanted anything to do with me in the first place, to be honest. I couldn't believe you had _any_ interest in me, God forbid if I blew my only chance!"

Carol sputtered a laugh, quickly reigning it back in when she remembered how serious the situation was supposed to be.

"I'm sorry," she supplied, though she was still smiling.

"Don't be," Axel said, smiling and waving her off. "I'm just glad you decided to do it here and not outside. That'd be embarrassing as hell in front of Carl an' Rick."

She laughed again, and he joined her, and she knew that everything was going to be just fine between them.

"Uh...well, I think dinner's 'bout to be ready here in a minute," Axel said, pointing a thumb behind himself. "Care to join me?"

She nodded. "I think that would be great."

They walked, side by side, to the dining hall, separating when they reached the table, and grabbed their plates and utensils.

And as they sat and smiled at one another from opposite ends of the table, a somewhat odd silence fell upon the others, as though only just figuring out what their blatant separation symbolized. They didn't need to say anything; their looks said it all.

_Did they break up?_ Maggie wondered.

_Are they still together? _Glenn thought.

_Am I missing something? _Beth pondered.

And at the end of the day, the answer would be simple: no, they were no longer an item. No more would they share meals and save seats for each other, or exchange secret glances and touches. And she was fine with that. Even more, she was fine that Axel was fine with that. And she knew the others would be too.

And as Rick looked at her from his place across the table, nodding in understanding, she only hoped that Daryl would feel the same way, too.

* * *

**A/N: Reunion chapter's gonna be next! Are you _excited_ that you're finally gonna get your happy ending after _all_ that _pain_ and _suffering_ and personal _anguish?_ :D**

**See you tomorrow!**


	12. Not Looking Back

**A/N: 2/01/2015 Yaaay, happy ending time! :D**

**wildcow258****: ****Axel was _somewhat_ invested in Carol, that much is true, but only because she was pretty much the only other woman for him (and she wasn't a lesbian, lol) so he's disappointed, but not heartbroken. And yeah, you gotta take whatever you can for laughs and kicks in their world ;) Hope you enjoy this chapter!**

**AntoDixon****: Thank you! And yes, technically this is the last chapter. But there will also be a bonus chapter for an epilogue. I know it's tough when a favorite story is ending, but look on the bright side: it'll give me more space to write _new_ Caryl fanfics! :D**

**SideSwipe124****: Ohooo yes. I really do XD Hopefully this chapter makes up for the wait, though ;)**

**DustyClouds****: Really? SWEET. I love Breaking Benjamin, and I thought that line fit the chapter perfectly. If only they'd come out with a new album :/ Anyway, thanks for your review. And yes, thankfully for us Axel's not a rager XD Hope you enjoy this chapter! (though I'm sure you will) :D**

**Stargate533****: Yay! Then you're in luck :D And yeah, I like Axel too. He won't end up unhappy in this story, trust me ;)**

**DarylDixon'sLover****: She will, she will :)**

**Reading time: 13 mins.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Walking Dead.**

* * *

_"If I was given the choice between having the world back and having you, I wouldn't be able to give you up. Not to save five billion lives."_

― Stephanie Meyer, The Host~

* * *

Chapter twelve: Not Looking Back~

* * *

When she'd first received the news, she couldn't believe her ears.

He was back.

Daryl was back.

He came back!

Carol found herself nearly jumping with joy and relief when Rick assured her that he was really at the prison, that he'd really returned. He was hurt, he'd said, but it was nothing fatal, and other than that, he was perfectly fine. Even managed to grab some useful supplies.

She'd almost left without saying a word once he told her where he was (in Hershel's cell waiting to be treated), and Carol found herself lengthening her strides ridiculously in order to hot-foot it over there.

She expected her excitement and happiness to be overrun with anxiousness and cold feet, but was relieved to find that didn't happen. Instead, she found her initial feelings expanding, growing stronger and stronger the closer she got to him, the only negative thing in her mind being the tiny inkling of fear at the thought of him wanting nothing to do with her. But if that had truly been the case, she was almost certain he wouldn't have come back. Still, she had to reassure herself of this fact a thousand times over as she rounded the corner and walked up to Hershel's cell.

She stopped at the edge of her destination, swallowing down the sudden feeling of uncertainty as she gathered her wits about her.

She could see Daryl's impatient tapping foot from where she stood, so she knew he was there. It was just a matter of willpower and braveness to face him now.

_You can do this, _she told herself.

Taking in a breath, Carol steeled herself before turning the corner and revealing herself to the injured hunter.

"...Hey," she said, smiling softly.

Daryl looked at her, eyes briefly meeting hers before returning to the floor.

"Hey," he said back, quiet.

Taking that as a good sign, Carol crossed the threshold and entered the cell, careful to keep her distance as she leaned against the wall and crossed her arms.

He was sitting on the bed, leaned over with his left elbow resting on his knee as he stared at the ground, no longer tapping his foot. She ran her eyes over him to try and find what was wrong with him, and as her eyes landed on the arm that was hanging uselessly at his side, she suspected she had.

"What's wrong with your arm?" She asked, brows pinching as her gaze shifted between his arm and face.

"'S dislocated," came his mumbled reply, not bothering to look up from the floor.

Carol uncrossed her arms and launched herself off the wall, grabbing a nearby stool and moving to sit in front of him. "Here, I can fix it."

She reached over to grab his arm and Daryl automatically moved away, sitting further back on the bed as he shielded his injured limb.

"Hershel's s'posed to fix it for me." He said, giving her an untrusting look.

"Hershel's busy," she replied, arms frozen in mid air as she waited for him to lean forward again. It wasn't a lie; she had passed Hershel on her way to his cell, and he looked _very_ busy having a serious conversation with Maggie and Glenn.

Daryl was silent then, obviously trying to see if she was bluffing, but eventually reasoned that it was better to get his arm fixed sooner rather than later. Exhaling (or maybe sighing, she didn't know) in resignation, he leaned forward and surrendered his arm, allowing her to inspect it.

"Okay," she said, looking it over. "It looks like you've dislocated your arm at the shoulder."

He scoffed. "Yeah, no shit."

She gave him a look, but returned to the task at hand. Briefly looking around her, she grabbed the medical bag sitting on the sink behind her (which was thankfully heavy, otherwise it may not work) and handed it to him.

"Okay," she said. "I want you to hold this. You're gonna have to slowly raise it above your head, and it'll hurt like hell, but it should relocate your arm."

He twisted his face at the bag, staring with less than enthusiasm. "Pfft. That's all I had to do? Shit, I coulda done that myself."

"But did you?" She shot back, and he quieted.

"...Just gimme the damn bag," he muttered, taking it in his fist.

Holding tightly to the heavy object, Daryl slowly raised his arm, wincing, and Carol watched as he tried not to let the pain show on his face with every centimeter of movement. She knew the feeling; after all, living with Ed had taught her many things, how to fix a dislocated shoulder being one of them.

"Shouldn't you be tendin' to yer _boyfriend?_" Daryl asked mockingly, spitting out the last word as though it disgusted him.

Carol kept her game face on, acting as though it didn't bother her in the least. "Axel and I aren't together anymore," she replied, keeping her arms raised to direct him upwards.

The room echoed with a strong, muffled 'pop!' as Daryl reached above his head, and he grunted loudly in pain as the bone reconnected with its socket.

"Better?" Carol asked, taking the medical bag from him.

He rotated his shoulder, as though feeling the muscles work their magic for the first time. "...Yeah," he said, nodding as he stared at the floor. "Thanks."

"You're welcome," she said, putting the bag back on the sink behind her.

They sat in their places for a while after that, just staring at the floor in silence. She tried to think of another topic, some sort of opener to give her an opportunity to say what she wanted to say, but he beat her to it.

"So you two ain't an item no more?" He asked, resting both elbows on his knees as he stared up at her.

She was almost _ecstatic_ to tell him no, but the casualness in his tone scared her a bit. "No," she said, fighting back a smile. "We both decided that it just wasn't going to work."

She wanted to say more, but found herself stopping short. She looked down, mentally berrating herself for not being able to just say what she wanted to, and fiddled with a loose strand at the hem of her shirt. Another bout of silence began to settle in, but then Daryl spoke again and she was snapped out of her sudden fascination with thread.

"...'M happy for you." He said, looking into her eyes with sincerity.

He shifted to get up, and within the two seconds it took for her to react, only one word echoed in her mind; no. No. It couldn't end like this. She had come here to make things right with him! Not part ways with no grudges and good intentions. This couldn't happen. She wasn't going to let it. He'd already left her twice, and she wasn't going to let him get away again.

"I love you," she blurted, louder than she'd intended.

The word echoed out into the hall and Daryl froze, no more than two inches off the bed, and stared at her with wide eyes as the world paused around them.

Her heart pounded in her chest, painfully so, and she swallowed nervously as her gut swirled with fear and dread and a million other emotions. Slowly, the world began to revolve again, and he slowly lowered himself back onto the bed to sit in front of her, his face bearing an unreadable expression. He remained silent, seemingly waiting for her to say more, and Carol blinked rapidly to try and unscramble her thoughts so she could clearly get her point across.

"...I love you," she said again, heart swelling with happiness at how _right_ it sounded. "And...and I know it probably doesn't seem like it, but I do. I was only with Axel because I was hurt and lonely and I needed _somebody_, and I know I've treated you like garbage from the moment you got back, and I know I don't deserve you or your forgiveness, but I'm sorry. I just couldn't fathom how someone I cared about so much could leave without saying goodbye. I should have been there for you just like you've been there for me when I needed you, and I never should have pushed you away when you needed me most. I know I've hurt you, and I know I'll _never_ be deserving of your love and kindness, but I'm sorry. I'm so, _so_ sorry-"

She was cut off by chapped lips pressing against hers, and her vision blurred as her sight was overtaken with mottled skin and shaggy hair.

"Shut up, woman," he whispered, laughing as his eyes overflowed with happiness. "Just shut up."

He leaned in to kiss her again, and Carol happily obliged. He gripped the sides of the stool she was sitting on and dragged her closer, the screech of wood against cement hardly noticed by either of them as she wrapped her arms around his neck and he rested a hand on hers.

Daryl pulled away after a while and rested his forehead against hers, and Carol's eyes pricked with tears of relief and joy. She had never felt so happy in her entire _life_, not since Sophia had been born. And now, as she held close to the man she loved and stared at his every perfect imperfection, she knew that nothing would ever exceed that happiness. She would never find another light like Sophia, but she would _certainly_ never find another sun like Daryl. And she didn't want to. This was as close to her idea of a perfect life as she'd ever been, and damned if she didn't savor every second of it.

"Does this mean you forgive me?" She asked, smiling with mirth as she cupped his face.

"Depends," he replied. "You gonna stop givin' me a hard time?"

She laughed, happy tears rolling down her cheeks as she closed her eyes and nodded. "Most definitely."

"Mmm..." He mumbled into her shoulder, hands sliding down her sides as he lifted her off the stool and heaved her into his lap.

Carol gasped in surprise as he ran his nose along her neck and shoulder, inhaling her scent as one would do when remembering the familiar smell of home. She wrapped her arms tighter around his neck, leaning her head against the side of his as she ran her fingers through his hair. She wanted this moment to last forever...

"If this is gonna work," he said suddenly, pulling away from her neck. "We're gonna have to lay down some rules."

"_Rules?_" She echoed, brows furrowed in surprise. "Like what?"

"Well, for starters," he said, eyes hardening slightly. "You ain't sharin' no cell with 'Axel' no more."

She closed her eyes and sputtered a laugh. "I think I can deal with that one. And the others?"

"Well, I was thinkin' that-"

He cut himself off, eyes wandering past the room and into the hallway, and Carol turned to follow his gaze, blushing beet-red when she saw Hershel Greene standing in the doorway.

"Hershel! I'm sorry, I was just-"

She squirmed in embarrassment and tried to get off the lap she was so comfortable in, but Daryl wouldn't let her. He only locked his arms around her waist and held her tighter, not bothered in the least that the old man had walked in on them.

"I was told there was an injured man I needed to tend to," Hershel began, brows raised at the two of them. "But I guess I must have misheard."

Carol ducked her head in humiliation, wanting nothing more than to just _die_. Well, that wasn't true. She _wanted_ to go off with Daryl to somewhere more private. But she also wanted to die.

"All better," Daryl said, smirking at him. He pulled Carol closer, wrapping her legs around his waist, and she hid her face in his shoulder as he moved to get up. "Come on," he sighed, holding her up. She could just _picture_ the smug look on his face. "We can finish our discussion in my cell."

Carol swore she must have been getting sick, her face was so red. Only Daryl could make her feel so happy and angry and embarrassed and giddy and utterly _ridiculous_ all at once. She kept her eyes shut as Daryl carried her out of Hershel's cell and up the stairs to his own, cheeks blazing as she felt the older man's surprised and amused stare.

The others would soon hear about this, she was sure. If they hadn't already. It only took a matter of seconds for people to pick up on the voices and echoes throughout the prison. Beth was probably running off to go tell Maggie and Glenn right now...

Carol held tightly to the man carrying her and turned her head to smile into his neck, inhaling his calming and familiar scent. Neither Daryl nor anyone else would let her live this down, she was sure. This would be the talk of the week, nay, the _month_. She stifled a laugh at the thought, smiling so wide her cheeks hurt as a new wave of ovewhelmingly happy tears pricked at her eyes.

She was embarrassed as hell.

And she couldn't have been happier.

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**A/N: But wait! It's not over yet! Be sure to stick around for the epilogue! :D**

**I know they probably should have had more of a debate regarding each other's hurt feelings, but I think that after hurting himself on a run and almost not coming back alive (or whatever scenario you want to imagine involving a dislocated shoulder) Daryl wouldn't really care too much about past stuff. And as we can see from the season 5 reunion, he doesn't give two cents who sees him when he's caught up in a truly happy moment :)**

**Now, thoughts, thoughts, thoughts! Share with me your thoughts! :D**

**See you tomorrow for the final chapter!**


	13. Epilogue

**A/N: 2/02/2015 Well, I wasn't able to update this morning like I wanted, because I had to be somewhere today when I thought I'd be able to stay home. Such is life :P Anyway, I hope you enjoy this, it's short but sweet :)**

**wildcow258****: Hey, thanks for your reviews! Both of them! Lol :D I'm glad you liked the reunion chapter so well, it fills me with happy little butterflies to know that you enjoyed it so :) Unfortunately I don't illustrate on Daryl's 'rules', but you can imagine anything that suits you if you want ;) **

**Sideswipe124****: Eeek! Thank you so much gaaaahhhh \\(^)/**

**DustyClouds****: Nope, not the end yet! :D I'm glad you liked the last chapter, I always love to hear your opinion on things ;) Hope you like this epilogue!**

**Stargate533****: Glad to know I've made you happy! Hopefully this final chapter will do the same ^^ Yeah, it always sucks when a favorite story will no longer show up in your email, but hey; it just makes room for even _more_ Caryl stories! Yaaay :D**

**DarylDixon'sLover****: Thank you :)**

**Reading time: 6 mins.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Walking Dead.**

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_"Nobody notices when we leave. I mean, the moment when we really choose to go. At best you might feel a whisper, or the wave of a whisper, undulating down. My name is Salmon, like the fish. First name: Susie. I was 14 years old, when I was murdered, on December 6, 1973. I was here for a moment. And then I was gone. I wish you all a long and happy life."_

\- Susie Salmon, The Lovely Bones~

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Chapter thirteen: Epilogue~

* * *

"Carol! Get yer butt over here, it's time to eat!"

Carol looked up from the young baby she was holding, eyes searching the bustling crowd at the other end of the courtyard. "In a minute, Daryl, I just need to get Judith quieted down!"

She turned her attention back to the unruly infant in her arms, cooing and making funny faces in order to try and calm her down.

It was November now, and they were all planning their first Thanksgiving since the outbreak. Outdoors, even! _That_ was nice. Granted, it was getting colder now, what with it being November and all, but it was great to get out of the dark, damp prison and outside to breathe the fresh air - even if said air was shared by undead zombies.

"Hey, c'mon, Carol," Axel said cheerily, patting her on the shoulder as he walked past her with a huge smile on his face. "Food's waitin'!"

Carol smiled in reply as he made his way towards the giant picnic table on the other end of the courtyard, watching as a blurr of blonde ran past her to catch up with him.

"Axel, wait for me!" The woman called, running up and lacing her fingers with Axel's.

They'd had a few new additions to the group over the past few months, Axel's girlfriend Angela being one of them. The two of them were so alike - same interests, same personalities, even the same hair color. They were always together, talking and joking and doing menial chores. It filled her heart with joy to know that despite the odds, he'd found someone just as bright as he was, the perfect match for his happy-go-lucky exterior; she was happy for him.

Carol cradled a now silent Judith and walked over to where all the commotion was coming from, more than happy at the thought of filling her empty stomach.

She wasn't quite sure how they'd managed it, but somehow they were able to get their hands on items and morsels befitting a regular Thanksgiving - a tablecloth, candles, garnishes, salad, applesauce, sweet potatoes, and even a turkey, thanks to Daryl. Rick and some of the others had their doubts regarding a celebratory gettogether, which she fully understood with such violent dangers at every corner, but she knew in her heart that they deserved this, and they would be able to find the time and means to make it work.

Everyone was doing something; Beth and Maggie and Glenn were setting the table, Hershel was handing out the food to be placed, Carl was trying to get his fingers in the applesauce, and Rick was doing his best to direct the others amongst all the chaos.

"Ow, _hey!_" Beth yelped, turning angrily towards her sister. "Quit pushin' me!"

"I didn't _push_ you!" Maggie scoffed. "_You_ pushed _me!_"

"Yeah, because I can't get enough elbow room thanks to your _man-feet!_"

"Yeah, well I..."

Carol rolled her eyes at the bickering siblings, hiding her urge to laugh with a smirk as she bounced Judith on her hip.

"Hey," Daryl said, tapping her arm as he walked up from behind her.

She smiled. "Hey."

"You ready to eat?" He asked, reaching a hand up to let Judith grab his finger.

"_Very_," she replied, watching as the baby stared at him in wonder.

Everything had been so perfect since she and Daryl had gotten together - it almost felt like a long, drawn out dream, which she half-expected to wake up from at any second. But she knew it to be real, and she thanked God every day for the blessed life she was still able to have amidst all the tragedy.

"Carl, stop it!"

Carol and Daryl simultaneously turned their heads away from Judith to stare at the quickly escalating scene at the table before them.

"Get your hand outta there, man!" Glenn stepped up behind the young teen and tried to pry his hand out of the applesauce dish, only to have him turn around and slop some of the food onto his shirt.

The entire group silenced in shock, and Rick looked like he wanted to kill his firstborn son, but then the unexpected happened.

Beth reached over and scooped her hand into the applesauce, grinning as the others shifted their attention to her movements in silent horror, and hurled the glob of uneven stuff at the others, splattering it all over her sister and father and the others.

And then an all-out food fight began.

Daryl sighed, long and dramatic, as he stood on the sidelines with Carol and Judith. "Well?" He asked, scoffing jokingly. "Is it everything you ever wanted?"

"...No," she sighed, smiling dreamily at the chaos before her. "It's more."

And it was true.

She couldn't have asked for a more perfect life.

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**A/N: Well, there it is. I cannot thank you all enough for the unending love and support you've shown throughout the (almost) two weeks this story has been out, and I hope you are left satisfied with the ending and all that :)**

**Thank you for:**

**1\. Looking**

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**Feel free to fave and review, or both, or neither, or nothing at all :D**

**'Til next time!**


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